Mother and Anorexic Daughter

Yesterday morning seemed as long and unending as the dark blue waters of the ocean. It began with me being dragged to my psychiatrist for an incredibly early 8 am appointment. In his clinical-appearing, disheveled office, I was weighed and interrogated. Now let me get this straight, my shrink is pretty caring guy. I know he only wants me to get better, but when people start asking me things like “how did you challenge yourself since I saw you last?” or “have you tried any new foods?” I get a little threatened. Mostly because I just don’t know how to answer them and even if I did, I don’t think I would trust him enough to tell him such details . . .
After my shrink conducted his through investigation, I was free to leave. Believe me, by this point, I was absolutely desperate to do something I enjoyed. That way at least one of the final days of summer would be relatively pleasurable.

So I did something I rarely even attempt to do. I asked my mom to take me shopping and to my surprise she actually ceased doing her tedious job tasks and took me! We stopped at a few thrift stores and I found a cute lime green bohemian top. Then we headed over to Old Navy where I was able to find some cute skirts and tops. I will admit I did get a little anxious. I kept thinking that when I would try on the clothes they wouldn’t fit. Not because they would be too tight, but they would be too big. My mom gets upset I think when clothes that should fit, make me look like I am wearing an oversized potato bag. I believe it is then that she realizes that I am still struggling. But it’s not like I can get better overnight. Recovery is a process, not a quick fix. I just got to keep reminding myself that so I don’t get discouraged when I see the pain on my parent’s face.


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