You know that feeling when you just want to give up? When you just want to grab a knife and starting cutting your skin till a river of blood oozes down your limbs? When you just want to die?
Well, that’s the feeling that is consuming me right now and it’s all because of a damn bottle of lite Annie’s dressing.
My story begins with me nonchalantly writing a grocery list, neatly organized in columns based on food group. As my dad grabbed the list and began to make his way out the door, I remember I had forgotten to write down my favorite salad dressing, Annie’s Lite Goddess. I run over in my fuzzy purple rope to inform him of this mistake and to ask him if he could add that to the list. As I told him what I wanted, he literally had a conniption!
“Why do you need lite salad dressing?!?!?” he demanded.
I tried to tell him that that salad dressing was healthier and lighter in artery-clogging saturated fats, but he wanted to hear nothing of it! I mean, I just don’t understand why he had to through such a fit! It is not like that dressing is free of calories. Actually, it contains a reasonable 60 calories per a two tablespoon serving as well as 5 gram of total fat (which by the way, is considered a fat serving if you are going by the exchange system)!
I don’t understand why this is the cross they long to die on. I have been eating and actually I have been eating quite well. My belly constantly feels bloated and begs me to refrain from ingesting food, but I still do it. Not for me or my health, but so my parents can stop constantly being disappointed in me.
I wish they would just fucking realize that I am trying because after this, I don’t see the point in fighting ED much longer.