As high school continues to rob me of my freetime, I can sense something absolutely mortifying happening to me. I am beginning to refrain from consuming my afternoon snack, body checking has hit a record high, and I am doing everything in my power to avoid eating with my family. In other words, the dangerous eating disorder habits I’ve been trying to move away from are slowly working their way back into my life.
How am I suppose to fix this? How am I suppose to get back on track? I know recovery is full of lapses but right now I feel like I’ve fallen down a cliff and I am much too afraid to climb back up. I realize though that if I don’t try with all my might to climb out, with each passing day my little lapse will begin to morph into a full-blown relapse. A relapse that may cause my parents to send me on over to the “looney bin” where a cruel regime of force-feeding and futile psychotherapy will commence.
I guess though the first step to getting out of this situation is accepting the fact that I’m in it. Hopefully I’ll be able to get back on track before ED kidnaps me once again.