I feel like I am swimming in a sea of depression, barely able to keep my tiny head above water. I can see a gray sliver of land way out in the distance,but no matter how hard I swim, the sea’s powerful waves push me further out into its blue abyss. At this time, you would think I would have started screaming and yelling for some help. But I gave up on that a long, long time ago. I know now that no one can hear my cries or they just chose to tune them out. Even as I am lost in the sea, everyone seems to continue on with their daily lives. My parents still sit and watch reruns of Star Trek episodes, my sister still; hogs the damn telephone to chat with her immature companions, and my beloved dog still entertains himself by massacring some hideous stuffed animal.
I realize that I am suppose to be encouraging you, my dear readers, to tackle your depression and pick yourself up out of this dark void. But today I just can’t find a way to do that. Maybe it’s because tomorrow I will be forced to talk to my therapist again at some inconvenient time. Maybe it’s because I refused to eat with my family again. Or maybe it’s because tomorrow I will be dragged to my version of juvenile hall – school. Whatever the reason may be, all I can tell you is that I am miserable and I just wish I could rewrite my life so that I would’ve never had to deal with ED.