What is the one thing I hate more than anything?
No, it’s not getting one of those mortifying flu shots (I don’t care what the nurses say, they still hurt!) or even being forced to ingest a meal that I didn’t cook. ‘
It’s sitting. Yes, you read that right. The simple act of placing my gluteus maximus on a hard surface causes my mind to race, my heart to pound, and my hands to begin to persperate. In other words, it causes me to experience one of the worst things imaginable – an anxiety attack.
Now, a few of you guys may be wondering why on earth kicking my feet up and relaxing in a La-Z-Boy causes me such distress. I mean, we all know sitting isn’t going to kill me . . . but to be honest with you, for me it might as well.
You see my good friend ED (just an FYI, I’m being sarcastic) doesn’t like it when I am still. He somehow came up with the irrational idea that not moving results in a massive amount of weight gain, even if its just for a few short minutes! Despite the fact that ED’s belief is completely illogical, I still believe him with every last bit of me.
As you can imagine, having “sit-o-phobia” causes a lot of dilemmas when I’m out in the real world. I look like an idiotic in school because I refuse to sit in any of my classes (except math) and traveling is a nightmare since it requires long & horrifying periods immobility.
I realize allowing ED to rule my life and cause me to fear so many foolish things is no way to live, but I honestly struggle with challenging him sometimes especially when it comes to sitting. People think it’s so easy to just overcome my fear and get on with my life, but they’ve never dealt with ED. They never heard his deafening screams in their hears. They’ve never had their self-confidence cut down by his cruel, heartless words. Hell, I am positive they probably never were eaten away by the extreme guilt ED makes you feel when you break one of his ridiculous laws!
I just want people to be more understanding because you know what I don’t want to be the odd one out anymore. I know standing in class looks rather bizarre and unorthodox, but ED honestly gives me no choice. I want to be normal, but I can’t . . . not right now at least. Just not right now . . .