I am struggling to make sense of everything that is happening in my life right now.
Yesterday, my dad and I drove in blizzard-like conditions for 4 traffic-filled hours. Why? Because I had an appointment with a rheumatologist at Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin. This appointment was suppose to be my last one.
It was suppose to be the one where the doctor would give me answers.
It was suppose to be the one where I would finally be given a plan on how we can make be better.
It was suppose to be the one that would give my family and I relief.
Boy, was I wrong. . .
The rheumatologist seemed utterly perplexed by my condition. According to my blood work, it was quite obvious something was wrong and it was apparent he was rather concerned. But he couldn’t put his finger on anything. He just prescribed me some damn pill for the horrific pain. All that driving and all I got was a pill. Nothing more.
For god sake . . .
I don’t know how much I can take this anymore. Every time I see a doctor and every time they tell me they have no idea what’s wrong with me, I die a little inside. I just want some hope that this pain will cease. That’s honestly all I want right now . . .
But I think that is just too much to ask for.