Trapped in the Unknown

I am struggling to make sense of everything that is happening in my life right now.

Yesterday, my dad and I drove in blizzard-like conditions for 4 traffic-filled hours. Why? Because I had an appointment with a rheumatologist at Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin.  This appointment was suppose to be my last one.

It was suppose to be the one where the doctor would give me answers.

It was suppose to be the one where I would finally be given a plan on how we can make be better.

It was suppose to be the one that would give my family and I relief.

Boy, was I wrong. . .

The rheumatologist seemed utterly perplexed by my condition. According to my blood work, it was quite obvious something was wrong and it was apparent he was rather concerned. But he couldn’t put his finger on anything. He just prescribed me some damn pill for the horrific pain.  All that driving and all I got was a pill. Nothing more.

For god sake . . .

I don’t know how much I can take this anymore. Every time I see a doctor and every time they tell me they have no idea what’s wrong with me, I die a little inside. I just want some hope that this pain will cease. That’s honestly all I want right now . . .

But I think that is just too much to ask for.


4 thoughts on “Trapped in the Unknown

  1. Doctors may not know everything but that’s just a fact; people just do not know everything. However, God knows everything and nothing is too much to ask for him. Not only that, but he can give us peace/relief as the bible does say to cast your troubles onto the lord and he will relieve us of our “earthly” burdens. This is all to say, God has plans to give you a hope and he always has. I’m sorry to hear that the appointment went the way it did and I do hope that you will find out what you have the soonest as possible. I will pray about this during my prayers. Hope you get well very soon. God Bless

    1. Thank you so much for saying these kind words. It’s very comforting to know someone will be keeping me in their prayers. I can’t thank you enough 🙂 God bless!

  2. Hi, I once saw this documentary about a girl in terrible pain and nothing could be done for it. They suggested to her that maybe what she had was Lyme Disease and should be tested for it. But for reasons to difficult to go into, she didn’t (she was already addicted to Vicodin). I don’t know—I just got prompted to throw the Lyme Disease diagnosis out there? I am so sorry you are suffering. Well, i can keep you in my prayers and think of you tomorrow on Christmas. I hope you do have a Merry Christmas, and also that the doctors start to do something about all this discomfort you are having.

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