I Can’t Do This Anymore

Why haven’t I written a post in a few days?

Maybe it’s because I feel like someone burnt my soul in a raging bonfire or maybe it’s because my bones are causing me agonizing pain.

Whatever the reason is, it’s still no excuse for not taking the time to write about my feelings. Sometimes I feel like this is the only place I can actually express myself because I certainly have no friends or no family I can talk to. . .

The past couple of days have been hard. On Thursday of last week, my dad was finally able to get in contact with the folks at Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin (it’s suppose to be the 4th best in the nation). Well, my dad just got to talk to some nurse from the rheumotology department, who did nothing more than robotically reading my lab results.  She then proceeded to say that they basically had no idea what was wrong with me. So yep . . . that means we’re back at square one and I am starting to think that we aren’t going to get much farther than that.

The other thing that has been happening in my life is my body image is going downhill. I was actually going to make a video of this update, but I could bring myself to be in front of a camera. I feel so fat and so ugly. I just want to hide under my bed for weeks and weeks and never come out.

I wish I could write more, but I can’t.  I know this post is terrible, I really do and I am sorry for all those who have to read this. I just can’t do anymore. I just can’t.

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2 thoughts on “I Can’t Do This Anymore

  1. No need to be sorry. It’s okay not to be okay sometimes. We all just really hope you feel better soon. You’re beautiful inside and out. You really are. And we all love and care about you on here.
    Hope you get to feeling better soon.
    ❤ ❤ ❤ *hugs*

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