How Many Calories are in Blood?

Just as the moon was high in the winter sky, I was awoken by the most revolting sensation I have ever experienced. Some thin liquid of sorts was forming a river out of my nostril and down my face.  At first I thought I was experiencing nothing but a case of rhinorrhea – the medical term for a runny nose. But as I grabbed for a Kleenex by the side of my bed and attempted to wipe the disgusting secretions from my face, I realized that the nasal seepage did not consist of watery boogers. Instead, I saw my Kleenex covered in pale red blood.


I shot my tired body up from my bed and sprinted to the bathroom. There I went through a whole packet of Kleenex, attempting to at least ease the bleeding. As my nose bled and bled, I noticed something absolutely horrific. Something I totally dreaded.

The metallic-tasting blood had made its way down my throat.

For many people, this wouldn’t seen like a big deal. I mean sure, it’s gross, but for them it’s not a distressing and anxiety-provoking situation. For those of us with eating disorders, a bloody nose can be horrifying . . . or at least for me it is.

You see, right when I noticed the blood oozing down my throat, Ed began to scream in my ear. He told me the blood would go to my stomach and then it would be digested. Without knowing the caloric content of the blood, I would be completely unable to compute how much energy my body just took in. Therefore, I was risking going over my calorie limit for the day which would ultimately result in . .  .

Yep, you guessed it! Immediate obesity.

Now I realize for a lot of you who don’t have eating disorders, this is probably one of the most absurd thought processes in the world. Let me reassure you, I am not stupid and logically I understand that one cannot enter a state of obesity just by experiencing a nosebleed.  But eating disorders are illogical illnesses and they completely hold you logical brain hostage. Ed doesn’t allow you to believe the truth because he is a smart cookie. He completely realizes once you realize his bizarre inaccuracies, you will be set free. We all know that is the very last thing Ed wants. . . .


P.S. I want to make another video soon and I would like to know what you guys would like to see! Just leave a comment or fill out the contact form!

3 thoughts on “How Many Calories are in Blood?

  1. I totally get that!!! I was drinking from one of those freezer cups with the gel inside and realized the cup had cracked and I’d consumed about half of the gel along with my breakfast! I called every person on my panic list frantic to know how many calories are in freezer gel… And they ALL said the same thing “Is it toxic?” That thought never crossed my mind. As it happens, freezer gel is the same chemical as miralax.

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