I know a lot of you readers have followed my blog since its birth this summer, and I am sure by now you know the broken relationship that I have with the person I am suppose to love unconditionally – my mother.
So many fights have broken out between us. Some were physical, leaving is both bruised and sore. Other battles were fought with just verbal warfare, but though those fights didn’t involve physical pain, my heart developed huge bruises and deep scars. And let me tell you, the fights where your heart is the only thing injured are the most fatal to the soul.
Due to the history between my mom and I, I was beginning to think that we would never bond. Till the day one of us goes to our grave, I thought we would be waiting and ready to pounce on one another for the most miniscule things.
This weekend though, those thoughts have vanished from my mind and I don’t think I will EVER let the back in.
If you remember my post from yesterday, my family and I were going to head out with some friends to spend the weekend at a cabin hidden deep in the Wisconsin woods. Though my parents had intended that we all leave yesterday evening, my father and sister were the only people who left that night. You see, I felt like a train had hit me. I just wanted to rest and I had no desire to jump in a car to head on off to the middle of nowhere. So I talked to my parents and we decided that my mom and I would leave the following morning (which was this morning). Well, this morning things changed again. My mom suffered an allergic reaction and felt like crap. Collectively, my mom and I made the decision to spend the weekend in the comfort of our own quiet house. And to be honest with you, I think God wanted that to happen because this weekend couldn’t have been any better.
My mom and I watched movies, ran errands, and well . . . just talked (which I think was exactly what we needed to do). We discussed everything from humorous events that occurred in our lives to my stay at Rogers. I learned that she too found the care I received their inadequate. She explain to me about the many nights she stayed up researching the Maudsley Approach. When she saw the success rate for children and adolescents, she jumped on the idea. She meant with my brainless treatment team and informed them that, due to her research, she would like to attempt the Maudsley Approach with me. Not surprisingly, my treatment team cut my poor mom down saying that that approach would just fail.
I never realized how much my mom stood up for me. She never left my side even though there were those dark days where I thought she had. I cannot describe in words how grateful and blessed I feel to have my mom. She is my advocate, my confidant, and most importantly – my hero.