This little saying you see above is taken from the book The Impressionists by Andrew Bliss. I know this quote isn’t the most inspirational. Actually to be honest with you, it’s almost downright depressing because the words in this quote paint a clear picture of how one feels about themselves when they have an eating disorder. And that folks is the exact reason why I chose it.
You see, my body image hit an all-time low yesterday when I went to visit my gastroenterologist for a celiac disease follow-up. Though he was concerned about the abnormal bruising on my legs, he told me is was very pleased with my weight. He even said the four words that all people with eating disorders dread – “You look much healthier”.
Though I smiled when he said those words and acted like I was pleased, on the inside I felt like a million knifes stabbed me straight in the heart. For a good fraction of my life, thinness -not health – was my absolute goal. To hear that I was now classified as a healthy, well-nourished individual is like being told I have completely failed in life.
But fortunately, I discovered Andrew Bliss’s words. This quote tells me that though I may be unable to tell myself I love who I am right now, there is hope that I will in the future. Sure, being able to look at yourself in the mirror without crying may be a “whole different kettle of whales”, but we all know that the hardest things in life are always the things that are the most worthwhile in the long run.