Yes folks, despite my horrendous anxiety, I was able to overcome my feelings of intense dread and apprehension and actually visit with friends not once BUT TWICE this week. Both times I actually considered calling it off and sticking to the comforting but rather inflexible daily routine I bide by. Fortunately, the tiny healthy part of my brain kept reminding me how vital it was for me to get out of the safety of my little bubble and participate in social interactions. The healthy side of my brain knew that if I denied the invitations of my friends, I would be feeding the monsters of OCD and anxiety that inhabit my mind. I knew that if I kept nourishing these cruel monsters, eventually they would completely take over my life and I grow in mental maturity I fully realize that living my life under the rule of these demons is definitely not something I want to do.
The first social outing I went on this week was with one of my dearest friends, Raabia. She an absolutely beautiful Pakistani teen who immigrated to the USA just over 3 years ago. In my eyes she is like the older sister I never had and it saddens me to think that she won’t be in high school with me next year. After dealing with the hell known as high school for four years, Raabia happily graduated this last school year. Fortunately, our bond is so strong that I don’t see our relationship dissipating once she heads to college. To my relief, she will be staying in town and heading to a local university in order to complete her general education classes before moving on to a bigger school. Because of this, we will still be able to visit each other regularly.
The second outing occurred last night with a girl that I have known since 6th grade named Brooke. When I fell victim to my eating disorder in 7th grade, Brooke stood by my side and wrote me a few encouraging letters while in the hospital. Sadly, she moved to a different school in 8th grade and we lost touch. Just recently though, her parents allowed her to get a Facebook and she reached out to me and asked if we could get together soon. We decided Wednesday night would work best for both of us and once the clock struck 6:30, my dad drove me to her house. I was so nervous for I hadn’t even seen Brooke for almost 4 years! I was worried we would not have anything in common anymore and that this little get together would be extremely uncomfortable. BUT GUESS WHAT, I WORRIED FOR NOTHING! Hanging out with Brooke and talking with her amazing family was an absolute blast. It was so nice to reconnect with her and hopefully we will continuing feeding our friendship.
Well everyone, that’s pretty much all I have to say. I am SO glad this blog post was one filled with optimism, hope, and joy. I just pray that these remarkable events will continue to appear in my life and I pray that they will occur in yours as well.