Nowadays I am beginning to wonder why I even exist. Why couldn’t I just have died from my wretched eating disorder? Why didn’t my heart just stop? Why didn’t my kidney’s fail? Why didn’t every single internal organ in my body call it quits? Why God? Why?
God if you are out there, can’t you see me? Can’t you see that salty tears run down my pale cheeks every night as I lay in my bed? Can’t you see that my eating disorder is becoming stronger because everything in my life is falling apart? School is becoming more and more difficult. Any social relationships I once had are turning to ashes. Worse of all God, look at what I have done to my family. I have torn them apart. My parents fight constantly, their love for each other being slowly suffocated by my sins. Oh and my little sister? Well she is terrified of me and avoid me as if I were the black plague.
And you know what, maybe I am.